


one, two, three (here goes nothing)

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (kinda), Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, jaehyun's actually just mentioned, johnny and hansol too, theyre older in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-14 21:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11791629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “How can you be so stupid?!” Yuta grabs the lamp post and throws it at Taeyong’s direction. His pink pillow comes next and Taeyong ducks his head out of the way. When Yuta runs out of things to throw, he beckons Taeyong closer with one hand. “Come here so I can hit you more!”Taeyong obliges immediately, accepting his fate. Yuta’s fists pound into his chest and he even gets a slap to his abs. “How can you tell Sicheng that I’m dating fucking Kim Dongyoung, are you mental?!”





	one, two, three (here goes nothing)

**Author's Note:**

> lets just pretend that disneyland exists in whichever universe they're in. (ps i dont know how photography and medicine works so bear w me pls)

Yuta flinches when he hears another scream coming from the bride.

 

"You don't know how to do this; I want someone more qualified," the bitch crosses her arms in annoyance. Yuta wants to throw his camera at her.

 

But he still needs the money to feed his dog and himself, so he fakes a smile, "Miss Kim," he starts, "I am sorry, perhaps you would like me to take the picture from a different angle?" Yuta suggests, his tone not unkind.

 

The bitch glares at him with venom in her eyes and Yuta doesn't get what's her problem. Maybe she's just jealous that his ass is better than hers. Yeah, that's probably why.

 

"You better get this shot right. Or else," the bitch spits out, pointing a finger at Yuta and he can see Sooyoung giving him a pitiful look from across the room. Yuta gives her a smile to assure everything's just peachy.

 

"You can bet on that, ma'am."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Is it my fault that brides hate my guts and grooms always want to eat my ass?" Yuta whines to his arms, Sooyoung patting his shoulder to comfort him.

 

"Don't worry. I'm a girl, and I still want to eat your ass," she soothes using a tone his mother used to comfort him when he’s a toddler. Yuta shoots his head up and gives his fellow workmate an incredulous look.

 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

 

Sooyoung shrugs, raising one eyebrow at him suggestively. "What? You know I have a thing for butts. Especially perky ones like yours," she winks, and Yuta grimaces. If Sooyoung doesn't have a boyfriend already, he'd probably run with his tail between his legs. Or dig a hole and die. Both options work.

 

Sooyoung drifts her eyes to something (or someone) behind his head, and she smiles at him again, pinching his cheeks. "Here comes your knight in shining armor. Give me a call, you still owe me a dinner date," she presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek and grabs her purse, waving him goodbye.

 

Yuta can smell Taeyong before he sees him. One of these days Yuta’s going to remind Taeyong not to too much of his money on that stupid Hugo Boss cologne.  

 

"How's work?" Taeyong presses his latte to his cheek, making him jump from the cold. Yuta shoots him a glare, but Taeyong ignores him and pushes Yuta over to the chair beside his so he can sit.

 

Yuta needs to make new friends. Friends who can’t manhandle him. Sooyoung is female but she’s still stronger than Yuta no matter how much he hates to admit it.

 

“Nothing much happened. The bride hates me as usual, but nothing surprising there. I just wonder why Taeil always assigns me to take care of the bride, I don’t get it,” Yuta clicks his tongue in annoyance.

 

Taeyong snorts. “Taeil is a troll behind that serious face and you know it. He’s just a sadist, don’t let it get to you.”

 

None of his friends are helpful so Yuta chooses to ignore him.

 

“Oh my God, how many times-“

 

“-do you have to tell me that it’s two sugars, yeah, yeah, I know. But you lost a lot of weight that why I added an extra,” Taeyong clicks his tongue disapprovingly as he observes Yuta’s thin (well, thinner) figure.

 

“Um. Excuse me, but do you need a fucking mirror? You’re basically just skin and bones. Thankfully your dick is big enough to suffice.”

 

Taeyong frowns disapprovingly at his choice of words and Yuta rolls his eyes. His friend is sometimes (every time) a stuck-up, and Yuta’s sick of being treated like a child.

 

The older sighs, “Anyway, this is not why I came here,” he starts to pull out something from his pocket and shoves them right into Yuta’s face. The rudeness of it all.

 

“You’re giving me a ticket why?”

 

“Because I’m going out for a date with someone,” Taeyong explains, his eyes going bright in excitement.

 

“That’s great and I’m happy for you, yada yada yada, but it’s got nothing to do with me,” Yuta gives back the ticket to Taeyong who looks at him pleadingly with that puppy eyes of his that he should’ve known never worked for him anyway.

 

“Because this date of mine doesn’t know that this is a date?” Taeyong tries.

 

“Is that a statement or a question? And what the hell do you mean by that?”

 

Taeyong gulps. “He doesn’t know that it’s a date. I told him that I was dragged by a friend of mine to come along with ‘his’ date to go to Disneyland and I begged him to come along with me.”

 

“You’re an idiot for even attempting to lie using such a lame excuse and your boyfriend is even a bigger one for believing the shit you said. Either way, I’m not participating in your little game. Just tell him that this _friend_ of yours suddenly died in a car accident,” Yuta rolls his eyes.

 

Taeyong slaps him on the arms and pulls him back down when he tries to escape. He seriously needs to find new friends.

 

“Stop talking like that, it’s a bad omen. And I can’t do that.”

 

“And why not?”

 

“Because- Because this guy is Dong Sicheng.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“How can you be so stupid?!” Yuta grabs the lamp post and throws it at Taeyong’s direction. His pink pillow comes next and Taeyong ducks his head out of the way. When Yuta runs out of things to throw, he beckons Taeyong closer with one hand. “Come here so I can hit you more!”

 

Taeyong obliges immediately, accepting his fate. Yuta’s fists pound into his chest and he even gets a slap to his abs. “How can you tell Sicheng that I’m dating fucking Kim Dongyoung, are you mental?!”

 

“I just want to go out with him and he never wants to if there are just the two of us and he worships the ground you walk on so forgive me for being desperate!” Taeyong defends himself but he still accepts a few punches. He waits a few minutes until Yuta tires himself out and it doesn’t take long because Yuta has zero stamina. 

 

The younger flops himself to the bed and wails, “Why does it have to be Doyoung?

 

“You know our circle of friends is limited. Jaehyun is off-limits,” Yuta raises an eyebrow at that, “and Johnny and Hansol are dating each other. Plus, Sicheng has never met Doyoung before; he’s the safe choice.”

 

“Why can’t you say that Jaehyun and Doyoung are dating each other then?” Yuta questions.

 

Taeyong snorts. “Doyoung can’t stand Jaehyun, you know that!”

 

“Well I can’t stand Doyoung but congratulations! You just successfully ruined my life by matchmaking me with him! Against. My. Will. I thought you were my friend,” Yuta cries dramatically, “I thought we have a nice, stable, relationship.”

 

“You make it sound like we’re in actual romantic relationship.”

 

Yuta gasps in horror, “All this time! All this time of me staying up late waiting for you to come home-“ “That’s because you’re waiting for me to feed you,” “-is all for nothing? You treated me like a trash even though I always service you at night!”

 

Taeyong grimaces, his fingers twitching to grab his insect repellent and spray it to Yuta’s face. “Stop being full of yourself, I wouldn’t want to fuck someone like you.”

 

Yuta wiggles his eyebrows, “You sure you don’t to taste of this booty?” He slaps his own ass and Taeyong keeps his face straight for approximately two seconds before he’s grinning.

 

“Are you joking? I’m religious, not blind.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta momentarily forgets about this whole dating-Doyoung ordeal for three days before he’s harshly reminded by the fact.

 

“Taeyong told you?” Doyoung asks him from across the table, still wearing his stupid green scrubs. Yuta doesn’t get why his patients want to be operated by a weird-functioning doctor who looks like a descendant of the descendant of rabbits.

 

“Ding Dong! Congratulations! You solved the mystery!” Yuta claps his hands together, his monotone and straight face contrasting his actions.

 

The nurses turn to giggle at Yuta’s antics and Doyoung blushes under the unwanted attention. He glares at Yuta and the latter glares back but Doyoung sucks which means his eyes suck too because no more than five seconds he’s already blinking rapidly, trying to get the moisture back into his eyes.

 

“You know. For a guy who claims himself to be a genius and went to med school to get his degree, you’re still unbelievably stupid.”

 

Doyoung stares blankly at Yuta before he grabs his phone and shows the screen to him.

 

“See that reflection? That’s another stupid guy. Doesn’t look like it, eh? Never judge a book from its cover.”

 

Yuta slaps away Doyoung’s hand like it personally offends him (well it did) and crosses his legs. “I have no time for chit-chat. What are we going to do about this? Aren’t you supposed to be cutting out people’s hearts and making them stop bleeding from their asses? You’re supposed to say like. _Hey Taeyong, I’m sorry man I don’t have time to play double date with you because I’m a doctor and I save lives_ ,” Yuta presses each word.

 

“Look,” Doyoung scrutinizes him like he grew two more heads, “I don’t want to be in this mess as much as you do. But Taeyong is a friend and he needs help. I’m going to at least give him that,” he finishes his words with a blush adorning his face. Typical.

 

“God, I wish I recorded that. Jaehyun’s going to have a field trip hearing this,” at the mention of the younger’s name Doyoung’s eyes twitch in interest and Yuta rolls his eyes. He thinks his eyes are going to stay permanently crossed from how much he rolled his eyes today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The (only) thing that he likes about Doyoung is that he likes to plan ahead. And responsible. At least a lot more than Yuta. It never came to his mind that they need to discuss how to do this pretend dating thing (he’s still bitter about it and is going to torment Taeyong till the day he dies). Yuta has been celibate for years due to work that he forgot how two species can be intimate with each other.

 

“So,” Doyoung clears his throat, his eyes wide and mouth pursed. He looks like a cute giant bunny. Not that Yuta will say the first part. “Skin ships? How comfortable are you with them?”

 

“Well, I like skinships. I’m not as clingy as Taeyong though,” Yuta spits out Taeyong’s name like it’s venomous. He’s still bitter. “And Sicheng knew me since uni days so he knows how I am. After all, he’d been the receiving end of my affections,” he smiles fondly at the memory of how Sicheng used to be creeped out of his antics. But the younger stuck around and now his habits kinda rubbed off on him.

 

Doyoung raises his eyebrows at this. “I didn’t know that you guys were that close with each other.”

 

Yuta sighs, “We shared a room together. Now I can’t find the time to meet him to catch up,” he says guiltily. Part of him didn’t protest as much as Taeyong came up with the idea because he feels bad. Not for Taeyong, God no, but Sicheng. He’s always fond of the younger and it feels like it’s his fault that they don’t spend time with each other as much as they used to.

 

Doyoung looks at him like he’s calculating something and Yuta tilts his head. “What?”

 

The taller just shrugs. “Nothing,” he shoots Yuta a playful smirk before saying, “I’m just trying to put myself on your friend’s shoes. Can’t help but wonder how he managed to be so unlucky to land a roommate like you. Did he try to shoot you? Or punch you in the face? I would if I were him.” Doyoung smacks the flying pillow away from his face.

 

That was when Yuta decided that he will make Doyoung’s dating experience with him a living hell.

 

**To: Ding Dong**

_thanks for the flowers. (7.51 am)_

 

**From: Ding Dong**

_i didnt send you any (9.12 pm)_

 

**To: Ding Dong**

_that's my hint that u should buy me some u fucking idiot_

 

**From: Ding Dong**

_...u little shit just cuz u said that im definitely not going to buy u any_

 

The red roses arrive the next day and Yuta curses Doyoung because they still have their thorns. He throws the small card with Doyoung's shitty handwriting away. 

 

_serves u right._

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta made Taeyong pay for his transportation. And all other things that are not related with transportation because he’s a little shit and he enjoys pissing his friends off. Taeyong looks dangerous and cold on the outside but he’s a hello kitty when it comes to blackmails and Sicheng, so.

 

He and Doyoung agreed to travel separately, since the hospital’s Doyoung working in is quite far from his place and they can’t stand each other guts.

 

It’s a quite sunny day, Yuta notes to himself. He wishes his future is as bright. Which he kind of doubts it will be.

 

As the car approaches the main entrance of the amusement park, he can already spot Doyoung’s obnoxious purple hair from the distance and he wonders how his hospital boss (is that how you call them) allows him to do something like that. He thanks the driver before exiting the car.

 

His outfit is quite simple for today. White loose shirt with checkered short pants. He cut his hair a few days ago so now it’ll stop bugging his eyes.

 

Doyoung, on the other hand, surprises him. He expected him to wear something nerdy like a suspender, or a bowtie. But no. Yuta hates to admit it, but the brown cardigan and the black skinny jeans suit him. Not like Yuta would tell him that.

 

“Hey, asshole,” Yuta says as a greeting and Doyoung turns his head to look at him, his expression immediately turns into that of a distaste. Yuta hopes his own expression mirrors it.

 

“What took you so long? I had to wait seven minutes and twenty-four seconds under this scorching heat,” Doyoung complains and Yuta opens his mouth to retort something rude before he remembers his plan.

 

Instead he gives Doyoung a sweet smile and links their arms together. He smirks to himself when he felt Doyoung flinching as he did so.

 

“I’m so sorry, _honey_ ,” if not for Doyoung’s terrified expression he would’ve puked inside his own stomach, “traffic is shit. You know I would not keep you waiting that long,” he flutters his eyelashes in a flirty way that used to work when he went to clubs and was searching for a hole to fuck. Or a dick to fuck him. He doesn’t discriminate.

 

Doyoung gapes like a fish and Yuta can’t hide his grin this time.

 

“Yuta hyung!” The familiar voice shakes Yuta out of his inner victorious celebration. Sicheng bounds over to them excitedly and Yuta lets go of Doyoung’s arms because Sicheng rushes into him and pulls him into a big hug. He forgot how the younger is almost a head taller than him. Thankfully he has enough tact to wear his insoles.

 

“Sicheng! It’s been a while,” he returns the hug. Now Taeil is the only one who’s shorter than him in his small circle of friends. But Taeil also has sadistic tendencies and is quite the sociopath, so he doesn’t need his height to intimidate people. He’s Satan.

 

“You never really kept in touch,” Sicheng pouts and it’s supposed to look ridiculous on a grown man with a deep voice, but it doesn’t.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Work has been, you know, work,” Yuta smiles sheepishly, “I’ll make it up to you today, I promise.”

 

Taeyong clears his throat obnoxiously and throws him a glare while raising his eyebrows.

 

“Or,” Yuta drawls, getting the hint and turning his attention back to Sicheng, “I’ll make it up to you next week? Dinner’s on me!”

 

Sicheng beams at him and nods his head adorably and Yuta is once again reminded how Sicheng used to be his favorite junior back in university.

 

Sicheng’s gaze drifts away from him as he looks past his shoulder. “That must be your boyfriend!” Yuta gulps down the urge to groan as he hears the word.

 

“I’m Dong Sicheng,” he flashes a smile, holding out a hand to Doyoung, “nice to finally meet you!”

 

Doyoung moves closer to him and take the offered hand, flashing a mirroring smile at Sicheng. “I’m Kim Doyoung, nice to finally meet you too,” one look and people would never have guessed that Doyoung is a serious person in need of something fun in his life because he’s smiling so wide that he shows his gums.

 

“So,” Yuta jumps when he feels Doyoung’s hand on his waist, “I heard from Yuta that you guys used to be roommates?”

 

“Yeah, we used to be roommates!” Sicheng replies enthusiastically, “God knows how much boys he brings back to our room back in the day. I used to escape to another friend’s place,” he recalls the memory.

 

“Oh?” Doyoung raises his eyebrow at the new information, “I’m quite jealous, baby. Used to be the apple of everyone’s eyes, weren’t you?” his tone is playful but he can feel the hint of fondness. But Yuta is too busy trying not to blush when Doyoung said the word _baby_.

 

Game’s on.

 

“You know you’re the only one for me now,” Yuta smiles and stands on his tiptoes a bit to kiss the corner of Doyoung’s mouth. He can hear Sicheng’s squeal and see Taeyong’s incredulous stare from his peripheral vision.

 

Speaking of Taeyong.

 

“Yongie, do you want a kiss too? Stop looking so envious,” Yuta pulls away from Doyoung as he makes grabby hands toward a now blushing Taeyong. He also keeps on glancing at Sicheng and the heart eyes he’s making is quite disgusting. Yuta doesn’t know how Sicheng works, but he’s an idiot for not realizing the elder’s affections for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey Sicheng,” Yuta pipes as they’re all seated in one magical-themed restaurant (the moving wood chairs and the fancy blinking lights above their heads with theme songs rouse Yuta’s Disney spirit), “do you know that Taeyong still peed in his pants until he’s like, seven years old?”

 

Taeyong spurts out his orange juice and the liquid lands straight to Doyoung’s face. Killing two birds with one stone has always been Yuta’s flair.

 

“Yu-“

 

“Oh yeah, I think I know this,” Doyoung cuts Taeyong off calmly while wiping his face with the tissue Sicheng gracefully gave, “He also used to peek on girls’ skirts back in high school. Our principle made him clean the entire school’s bathroom.”

 

Steam almost goes out of Taeyong’s very red ears and Yuta cheers when Sicheng gives the oldest a judgmental stare.

 

“He has a thing for skirts,” Yuta adds helpfully with an innocent smile, “if I were to seduce him, I would wear the polka dot one? Yeah, like the one that Minnie wears.”

 

“Not in public though, he gets hard easily,” Doyoung finishes for him before sipping his soup carefully.

 

Yuta almost feels bad as Taeyong excuses himself to the restroom. _Almost_.                      

 

 

 

 

 

“I really had fun today!” Sicheng exclaims. Yuta’s personal favorite was the Indiana Jones and the Haunted Mansion just because Taeyong looked so miserable when he came out. A miserable Taeyong makes him very happy, so.

 

“Me too, I wish I’ve done this sooner,” Yuta sighs as he remembers that tomorrow he needs to go back to work and deal with bitchy brides and flirty grooms.

 

He feels Doyoung approach him quietly from behind and takes his hand and intertwining it with his own. Yuta’s heart does that stupid thing for a moment.

 

“Oh, before I forgot!” Sicheng says again, rummaging his small backpack for something, “I wanted to give you this,” he hands out a pastel colored card that Yuta has the misfortune of seeing them so often in his field of work.

 

“Are you getting married?” Taeyong blurts out before he can stop himself, his lips pursed in a Taeyong-is-sad-and-needs-love-style.

 

“What? Of course not!” Sicheng denies hotly, and Taeyong can’t hide his relieved smile, “it’s my sister’s wedding. I was supposed to give the invitations out to both you and Yuta hyung, but now that Doyoung hyung is here too,” he smiles, “I was wondering if you can come with? Transportation and accommodation will be provided by my family,” Sicheng adds sheepishly.

 

“Aw, that’s very nice of you,” Yuta coos, pinching Sicheng’s cheek just because he can, “but Doyoung’s a very busy person. Surely, he won’t have time to attend the wedding in his busy schedule, right babe?” Yuta nudges Doyoung’s ribs to signal him to play along.

 

“No, I’m actually free on this date,” Doyoung studies the card, ignoring Yuta’s alarmed look, “I have two weeks off. Doctors need vacations too. _Baby_.” Doyoung smirks and there’s an evil glint in his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So next month finds him in a plane with Doyoung. As Sicheng promised, the trips are paid by Sicheng’s family and damn, that guy is rich. The flight attendant is serving him drink that Yuta doesn’t know the name and his ego is too big for him to ask. If he’s sitting on business, he might as well pretend he got the money for it.

 

“Are you sure you’re going to drink that?” Doyoung eyes the drink disapprovingly, and Yuta still hates him for agreeing on the first place, so he ignores him and gulps the drink in one go.

 

Wrong choice because it turns out to be alcohol. Is alcohol supposed to be pink?

 

“See. Told ya,” Doyoung shrugs before going back to his magazine.

 

Sooyoung almost cried when he said that he’s going to Shanghai for a few days to attend a wedding, and it’s even more surprising it’s not out of sadness. Quite the contrary.

( _“You’re finally giving yourself a well-deserved break! Of course I’m happy!”_ )

 

She even helped him packed his stuff and dismissed him when he apologized for slacking off. Taeil’s reaction was not that different, but it’s Moon Taeil and his middle name is unpredictable because the next thing he knew Taeil’s pulling him into a quote, _very platonic hug_ , unquote.

 

Taeyong was already with Sicheng in China, helping him around with some things. It seems that things are working out between them and Yuta would never admit it, but he feels happy for his friend. He’s not kidding when he said Taeyong needs love and someone to take care of him.

 

“This tastes like monkey pee,” Yuta says while scrunching his face, throwing a betrayed look at the female flight attendant’s retreating figure.

 

“Why am I not surprised that you tasted monkey pee before.”

 

“Oh young Ding Dong,” Yuta closes his eyes, suddenly feeling drowsy, “you wouldn’t want to know.”

 

He may or may not slept on Doyoung’s shoulder for the entire flight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hotel is, to put it simply, marvelous. It probably cost his salary for three months to stay one night, and he earns good. Doyoung looks as impressed as he is.

 

“Is his family a Chinese mafia or something?” Doyoung asks as the hotel employee put their luggage inside their room.

 

“I don’t know, I certainly hope not,” Yuta answers distractedly, his attention focused on the sole bed located in the middle of the room, “Say. There’s only one bed,” he starts.

 

Doyoung shrugs, signaling him to continue.

  
“And there are two of us.” Doyoung shrugs again, promptly jumping into the bed like a kid. Again, Yuta doesn’t get how this brat graduated med school and became the most talented surgeon under forty.

 

“I don’t see any problem. We’re only sharing a bed, not fucking,” Doyoung puts his folded arms behind his head, making himself at home, “now that you mention it. Maybe we should make a pillow barrier. I don’t want to be infected by your stupidity.”

 

They spend the next thirty minutes throwing things at each other until the hotel staff rings their door and begs them to stop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taeyong has bags under his eyes when they see him.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Yuta pulls his friend into a hug before letting Doyoung do the same thing.

 

“Sicheng’s aunts wouldn’t stop bugging and touching my face. One of them even sneaked to my room to take some pictures. Now I can’t sleep because I’m paranoid, please, oh my god, let me sleep in your room,” Taeyong begs, and if the circumstances are otherwise, Yuta would’ve obliged. But they’re in this mess because of Taeyong on the first place, so he’s not going to give in.

 

“Nope, you brought this upon yourself,” he smiles sweetly, “so, I was informed that we need to try out some clothes? I was kinda insulted when one of the ladies knocked into my room and insulted my suit. Right into my face. Spent my fortune on it,” Yuta grumbles. He’s very fond of that particular suit, he saved for three months to buy that. And the snobby bitch just muttered something in Chinese as soon as she looked at it, thinking that Yuta wouldn’t be able to understand.

 

“I know right. Good thing that Sicheng’s parents are nice,” Taeyong comments as he leads them to the dressing room. He looks quite regal today, clad in a black slim fit suit himself.

 

“Already thinking of getting married?” Yuta teases and Taeyong throws him a threatening look to shut him up. Not that it ever works.

 

“Um. Why is my suit white?” Yuta questions immediately as soon as he sees the hideous even almost pastel pink color, “I want Doyoung’s black one instead!”

 

Taeyong clears his throat, “Sicheng was under the impression that you would be, you know, the more _flamboyant_ one I guess? He doesn’t want the both of you to wear the same color.”

 

Yuta wants to throw his shoe at Doyoung’s smug expression but he enters his own dressing room before he can do so.

 

“This is discrimination. Even if I’m the flamboyant one, which I’m not, mind you, why would I need to wear white clothes? Johnny is manly as fuck and he wears _pink_ undies!”

 

“Man, if you think that Johnny’s manly you probably need to get your eyes checked. Your astigmatism may be acting up again,” Taeyong replies as he helps Yuta put on the suit.

 

“Plus, it looks good on you,” Taeyong compliments, “you just need to use that eyeliner of yours, and bam. Maybe you can even get yourself laid tonight, but oh! I forgot! You have a boyfriend now!” Taeyong ducks just in time to avoid Yuta’s flying shoe.

 

He really needs to practice his aims.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“How long are you going to fix your hair?” Doyoung calls out from outside and Yuta rolls his eyes.

 

“Shut up! I’m not fixing my hair! I’m peeing all over your boxers, happy?”

 

There’s silence from the other side and Yuta thinks that Doyoung is over with the banter.

 

“...You’re not seriously doing that, aren’t you? You bitch, I swear to God-“

 

“My piss is too holy for your dirty undies, and stop calling me a bitch! Want me to lend you a fucking mirror?”

 

They’re shouting at this point and Yuta just wants to get this done as soon as possible without Doyoung annoying the hell out of him. The venue is still in two hours, he doesn’t get why Doyoung’s in such a hurry.

 

Fifteen minutes later, he opens the door.

 

“Took you long enou-“ Doyoung starts but cuts himself off, gaping at him.

 

“What? I know I look hot, stop pretending to be surprised.”

 

“You’re wearing eyeliner. Why are you wearing eyeliner? How do you even own an eyeliner?”

 

“If you say one word about how men are not supposed to wear make-up, I’m going to punch you, Kim Dongyoung,” Yuta threatens, suddenly feeling defensive.

 

“Wha- No! That’s not what I meant!” Doyoung defends himself, “it’s just,” he clears his throat, “I’ve seen a lot of guys wearing them before but, you’re the only one who actually looks decent.” He looks away immediately and Yuta’s eyebrows shot right up to his hairline.

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you actually complimenting me?” Yuta gasps dramatically, “Finally succumbed to my charms, didn’t you?”

 

“Shut the fuck up. Let’s just go.”

 

“If it makes you feel better, you don’t look bad today either. _Babe_.”

 

Yuta feels triumphant when he sees Doyoung flushing for the second time that day and links their arms together. Suddenly it’s easier to do so.

 

 

 

 

 

“You don’t need to pretend you don’t want to kiss each other you know, it’s only Taeyong hyung and I and my parents are very open with homosexual relationships,” Sicheng says for the nth time tonight and Yuta doesn’t get why he’s so pushy trying to get him and Doyoung making out on the floor and traumatizing Sicheng’s almost a-hundred-year-old great-grandmother.

 

“Thanks for the offer, but no, I’d rather not be responsible for multiple heart attacks in the room,” Sicheng pouts dejectedly at his answer and crosses his arms like a kid. Sicheng’s also twenty-seven years old.

 

To say that the wedding is a grand venue is an understatement. It’s the most beautiful wedding event Yuta’s ever attended, and that’s saying something because he attended a _lot_ of weddings before.

 

Sicheng’s sister looks beautiful and happy as the groom puts his hands around her waist and pulls her into a loving kiss.

 

Despite working often with them, he still doesn’t get how one can show that happy, blissful expression every time. It’s just, after all, a promise. Whether it will stay that way or not, nobody knows. He’d rather stay in a casual relationship for a long time than getting married. It’s just another cause of headache.

 

Lost in his own thoughts, he doesn’t realize Doyoung looking at him and Taeyong’s knowing glance towards them.

 

“Are you not going to dance with Doyoung hyung?” Sicheng nudges him again, looking very expectant.

 

Yuta raises his eyebrows, “And aren’t you supposed to sit with your parents and your sister, who’s, you know, the main character for today?”

 

“Nah, they’ll understand. I’m staying here for a few months anyway. Can’t say no to _nainai_ ,” Sicheng says.

 

Yuta contemplates a bit. “I would if you dance with Taeyong too,” Yuta challenges and Sicheng gives him a smirk.

 

“I was planning on that without you telling me that anyway.”

 

Taeyong spits out his drink again and this time it doesn’t land on Doyoung because the latter pats his back with sympathy in his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“So how did you guys meet?” Sicheng’s mom was very adamant on getting to know them better, and now the youngest Sicheng is acting as a translator.

 

Yuta immediately racks his brain for an answer. “We were introduced by Taeyong here, and I think my charms managed to worm my way to his heart,” Yuta leans his back to Doyoung’s chest just for the sake of it and he can feel the latter stiffening before relaxing immediately afterwards.

 

“Says the one who confessed to me and almost literally begged me to take you out for a date,” Doyoung retorts, his tone contradicting his actions as he puts his arms around Yuta’s waist, almost hugging him from behind.

 

Yuta had almost freaked out when he saw Sicheng’s mother approaching them from the distance and he and Doyoung immediately switched to boyfriend mode. He was planning to take some of the foods inside a container and eat them inside their room, because he couldn't let good food go to waste.

 

Sicheng turns away to whisper something to his mother’s ears, and his mom says something else and she’s talking way too fast for Yuta to understand.

 

“My mom said you look so good with each other. She said you guys keep on throwing these lovey dovey looks to each other,” Yuta blushes under her warm smile, suddenly feeling bad for lying, “especially you, Doyoung hyung,” Sicheng gives a knowing look and it’s Doyoung’s turn to blush as he buries his head into Yuta’s neck.

 

“Please don’t mind him, he’s quite the shy baby.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You suck at this,” Yuta complains as Doyoung steps on his foot for the fourth time during their supposedly romantic waltz in the middle of the dance floor.

 

“Forgive me for not practicing properly before leading you to the dance floor, princess,” Doyoung retorts sarcastically, ignoring Yuta’s indignant whisper of _I’m not a princess!_

Before Yuta can complain again, Doyoung pulls him closer to his chest, steadying him with a hand on his waist.

 

“Stop complaining baby, let’s enjoy our time here,” he whispers into Yuta’s ear teasingly, “they’re looking at us, do you know that? They must be envious, I’m sure they are.”

 

Yuta is about to ask what’s with the change of attitude but Doyoung’s eyes drift to his side and yeah. Sicheng is still studying them with barely contained interest. Can't the guy be at least a bit more subtle, geez.

 

He hums to himself in understanding before throwing his arms around Doyoung’s neck and giving him a flirty smile.

 

“What do you think, boyfriend? Should we give them a little show?” It’s probably the alcohol in his system talking, but he couldn’t care less because Doyoung looks very attractive with his messily styled hair and the pink lips suddenly looks very inviting. Did he mention that he has a thing for guys with brains too? Doyoung definitely has brains.

 

“I don’t see why not,” Doyoung replies with the same playful smirk and before he knows it their lips are touching and Doyoung’s are as soft as they look.

 

Yuta’s grip around Doyoung’s neck tightens as the other kisses him deeper, nudging his mouth open with his tongue.

 

It’s stupid, Yuta knows it’s stupid, he’s not supposed to feel anything for Doyoung, Doyoung is supposed to be his mortal enemy, but. Doyoung’s a good kisser and Yuta feels safe inside his arms.

 

They’re both panting as they pull off of each other, and Doyoung’s eyes look glazed, but he looks beautiful with that breathtaking smile.

 

“Looks like we gave them one hell of a show indeed,” Doyoung comments as he gestures to the blushing ladies behind them.

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s just say the trip back to the hotel room is awkward. Neither of them were too drunk to forget what happened and Yuta still has this annoying feeling that urges him to push Doyoung against a nearby wall and mother him with his lips again. Which is very dangerous because they’re only _pretend_ dating to help Taeyong land himself a boyfriend and that’s it. Yuta is not supposed to _feel_.

 

“Uh, I-I’m going to take a shower first?” Doyoung says as he unlocks the door.

 

“Y-Yeah. Sure, whatever. Take your time,” Doyoung nods in reply before going to wash himself.

 

Yuta groans to his pillow at the turn of events. He’s feeling drowsy again. Alcohol was never really his best friend and the feel of Doyoung’s lips against his own was the last thing he remembers as he succumbs to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day he wakes up without Doyoung on the other side of the bed. Taeyong knocks into his room and says that Doyoung changed his flight suddenly to an earlier one. The other didn’t even bother leaving a note.

 

If fake break ups are supposed to hurt this much, he wouldn’t have signed up for this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Turn your head a little bit to the side- Yes that’s it!” For once he got a decent client who doesn’t try to claw his eyes out as he instructs them to do something.

 

“What do you think? Should we take another one, or?” Yuta questions as he approaches the soon-to-be bride.

 

“It’s wonderful,” she gushes, “and my heels are killing me. You and I could use some rest,  I think,” she gives him a wink and if Yuta doesn’t know better he’d think that she’s flirting with him.

 

Instead he beams at her before excusing himself to his office, making some excuses. Sooyoung gives him a worried look and Yuta’s tired of his friends acting like he’s this fragile glass doll that will break with one small flick. They’ve been walking on eggshells around him since he got back. Yuta’s convinced that Taeyong made a group chat to talk about his love live so now everyone knows that he got ditched in a hotel room by a guy.

 

Johnny even dropped by to his flat yesterday and brought Yuta’s favorite oreo cheesecake that is sold only on Friday afternoons near Johnny’s neighborhood. Johnny always brings him oreo cheesecake when he feels that Yuta’s in a serious depressive mode.

 

Hansol texted him stupid quotes about life, lowkey trying to cheer him up with his own weird Hansol way. Jaehyun called a few times to annoy him with pick-up lines. He still appreciates it though, considering that Jaehyun’s still in the States to take care of some business.

 

But Taeyong is another matter entirely. He’s like a complete mother hen and Yuta’s this close to completely deactivating his phone from how much Taeyong’s been texting him about _have you been eating_ or _did you get some sleep today_ or _did you eat those organic veggies I sent you._

Yuta appreciates his friends’ worries, he really does, but he’s not a kid. He’s almost thirty (he hates to admit that) for God sakes, and he’s pretty much capable of taking care of himself.

 

He’s not a damsel in distress and he doesn’t need his knight in shining armor.

 

God, does he hate to quote Taylor Swift.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taeil’s apparently done with him because he ordered him to get back to his place and take some sleep. He accidentally sent his boss (read: Taeil) the wrong portfolio for the sixth time this week and Taeil’s not having any of it. He even paid for Yuta’s cab and physically pushed him away from his own office.

 

So now he’s staring into the insides of his fridge, contemplating whether to throw everything away or call the police for home invasion because Taeyong’s not kidding when he said he’s going to stuff Yuta’s house with food. He didn’t mention they’re all organics, though.

 

Beers gone. Leftover Chinese gone. Even his precious gummy bears are gone. Yuta is going to sue.

 

Taeyong drops by everyday now, and Yutas slightly bitter that he’s now in a long-distance relationship with Sicheng, who’s now in China.

 

Speaking of Sicheng, he still doesn’t know that Yuta was putting an act during his stay in Shanghai, and he would like to keep it that way. He doesn’t want to lose any more friends.

 

The doorbell rings just in time as Yuta’s patience runs out.

 

“Lee fucking Taeyong, how many times do I have-“ he opens the door and almost gasps as he sees Doyoung’s face right behind it. He instinctively attempts to close the door again but Doyoung puts his foot in between before he can do so.

 

“Let me in? Please,” there’s that one of desperation and Yuta scoffs.

  
“And why the fuck would I do that? Suddenly feeling guilty? Kinda too late for that isn’t it?” He bites out.

 

Doyoung glares at him. “Don’t act like it’s not your fault too.”

 

“Says the one who ditched me and  flew back without saying anything.”

 

“I tried to explain. You changed your number and Taeyong wouldn’t give me your address until yesterday.”

 

“Oh? What changed his mind then?”

 

Doyoung doesn’t answer but instead he uses his strength to push his way into Yuta’s flat. “Let’s talk. I’ll explain everything. Please.”

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta stubbornly stands because he doesn’t want to sit beside Doyoung on his cramped couch. Now that he looks at him for the first time in more than a month, he realizes that Doyoung lost some weight and he looks equally as tired. His roots were dyed gray with the same purple highlights. Yuta hates how he manages to look attractive even like this.

 

“That day I had a call from the hospital,” Doyoung starts, wringing his hands together, “I’ve been treating this girl since I was just an intern and she was five years old when she was brought in. She has heart problems since she was born; it wasn’t strong enough to pump blood to her entire system. We tried everything but it didn’t work out. But we had hoped that we could get a transplant, even though it’s still very rare,” his voice cracks at the end and Yuta instinctively moves closer.

 

“They called because apparently they had no signs that they’re going to be a donor anytime soon, and Yejin has been connected to a machine almost her entire life because her heart couldn’t pump on its own. Her parents gave up and they said it was best to just. You know, let her go.”

 

Yuta moves faster as he sees the tears gathering around Doyoung’s eyes, and it’s scary. Scary because he never saw Doyoung crying. The Doyoung he knows is full of sarcasm and insult, but never tears.

 

He places himself on Doyoung’s lap and brings his face to his neck, rubbing his back comfortingly. The taller immediately clutches his shirt and Yuta’s tears are forming too as he feels the wetness on his shoulder.

 

“And when I finally calmed myself down enough that day, I thought of you. I left you alone without explaining anything and I couldn’t bear to face myself anymore. Instead I distracted myself with work, but it only works out for a few days. I couldn’t stop thinking of you, and I’m sorry,” his voice is quivering and Yuta needs to stop him from crying because it hurts him too, “I’m so _so_ sorry, I just don’t want to let anyone down again.”

 

Yuta feels disgusted with himself. He feels like a child. He feels like he’s throwing a tantrum for something he doesn’t understand.

 

“Please don’t be, this is my fault too, I didn’t try to contact you instead I just shut you out completely without hearing an explanation,” Yuta sniffles, “not like you owe me one. I was a shitty friend, you don’t deserve to get treated like that,” he admits but Doyoung just cries harder and Yuta lets him.

 

 

 

 

 

Doyoung mutters a small _thanks_ as Yuta places the cup in front of him.

 

“Ew, this is basically just boiling water,” Doyoung grimaces.

 

Yuta glares at him, “If you behave I would not tell the world that you just cried like a baby in my living room and refused to let me go even though I needed to take a piss.”

 

“You cried with me, though.”

 

Yuta stays quiet after that. He plops down to the space beside Doyoung and plays with his fingers.

 

“I’m really sorry you know,” Doyoung starts again and Yuta’s going to slap him if he repeats the word _sorry_ one more time, “I was very distraught. You didn’t deserve any of it. But you were an ass to for not keeping in touch with me.”

 

“Birds of the same kind flock around with each other.”

 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the idiom.”

 

“I don’t care. At least I tried.”

 

They stay in silence again and the silence is quite deafening so Yuta turns on the television. He doesn’t like it when his place is void of any sounds.

 

Spongebob Squarepants is playing and Yuta wishes he could live like him. He’s just a sponge, his best friend is a starfish who literally lives under a rock and he’s too stupid to deal with feelings. His daily life consists of unknowingly stopping a plankton terrorist from taking over the world and flipping patties. An ideal life, indeed.

 

Doyoung snorts. “You realize that you’re thinking out loud, right?”

 

"No, I didn't. And please don't lecture me about how sponges actually I'll throw you out of my flat."

 

"Your wish is my command, princess."

 

"Stop calling me that, if anyone's here a princess it's definitely you," Yuta throws a pillow at him and it successfully lands on Doyoung's face and he's just about to throw a another one before Doyoung moves to him and pins the both of his wrists down. 

 

"Still think I'm a princess?" Doyoung challenges him again. And oh my God, he's actually seriously pissed. This is so funny. 

 

"Of course. Kim Doyoung is a p-r-i-n-" Doyoung cuts him off by leaning down and connecting his lips with his and uses Yuta's gasp as an entrance for his tongue. He's still not letting go of Yuta's wrists and moves his other hand to spread Yuta's thighs so he can rest between them. Their crotches brush against each other and Yuta moans into Doyoung's mouth, cheeks hot in exertion because he wants to  _touch_  too but Doyoung's still keeping him in place. 

 

Doyoung breaks the kiss but he doesn't move away from Yuta, instead he places his forehead against his, brushing their noses together. 

 

"What are we?" Yuta questions immediately as he catches his breath. 

 

"I don't know. Boyfriends, friends with benefits. Who cares. I feel something for you, you feel something for me, we can just keep making out with each other until we decide what feeling that is," Doyoung replies and he sounds like he memorized that answer and Yuta can't help but laugh. 

 

"I can get used to that," Yuta finally wriggles his way free and pushes Doyoung back so now he's straddling him again. He wastes no time reconnecting their lips and if they make out until the sun goes up again, nobody has to know. 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You know I used to think that you have a crush on Jaehyun," Yuta mentions as he stirs the soup that Taeyong brought for them a few days ago. Today is one of those days when Doyoung is (quite) free and is able to spend some time with him. 

 

 

"Can't say you're wrong," Doyoung says, not looking up from his newspaper, "he's hot and attractive. Too bad he has a thing for shorter guys."

 

 

"Did I mention that he was the guy that I used to bring back to my room back in uni days?" 

 

 

Doyoung gapes at him.

 

 

Yuta shrugs. 

 

 

"Guess I didn't." 

 

 

(They said that they're going to start things slow but three months into their so-called  _relationship_ Yuta said i love youwhen Doyoung comes back home bringing a bouquet of red roses, this time with no thorns, and a familiar box of oreo cheesecake on his other hand). 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> my first dota fic omg i hope it turns out well :")  
> And omg for the one who prompted this, i hope u like it if u dont im sorry-.-  
> Thanks enrara mods for making this possible :3


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